When You're Over It
Okay, it's time to get real. YWF focuses on self-care for those of us who mean well, wish to thrive, but sometimes fall short and miss the target. You work hard, put in the effort, but life happens.
You get busy, distracted, overwhelmed, then it gets a bit dark.
I think it's important to talk about what to do when our mental health is not the best. Self-care is difficult because the preservation of self is a deliberate act; it requires discipline and effort. This is particularly challenging when you are in a space with little will power, poor decision making, lack of emotional control, and reduced flexibility in your thinking.
I asked a few people what it's like when they are over themselves, here's what we came up with:
“You get tired of feeling so depressed. You get tired of feeling alone. You get tired of making the same mistakes over and over again. You get tired of allowing others to control your emotions. You get tired of feeling like loser. You get sick and tired of this pattern.”
“The duration can be anywhere from an hour to weeks. It’s numbing, exhausting, and I feel tired. Just beneath it all and into pieces like crumbs.”
“I'm over myself trying to be overly nice. I'm also over myself as a whole. I was recently thinking and taking inventory of myself and all the things I said I would do this past year and what I had accomplished and what I let slip through the cracks and I realized I'm just over myself as a person. I make excuses and have no will power.”
Overlapping symptoms also included:
- running late for things you should probably be on time for
- caring less about things you probably should care about
- magnification or minimization of emotional response i.e. things that normally wouldn't bother you now signify the end of the world
Relatable? Bet. It is difficult to function in this space. Below are realistic ways to take care of yourself when you don't even feel like getting out of bed and you're pretty much over yourself.
Positive Distraction of the Week:
Your vision board has failed you. You’re sick of your own crap. Depleted. Here are a few self-care ideas for when your mental health isn't the best:
1. Create a plan. Actually develop a checklist for reference when you just can't. Keep it in your phone or journal, even a post-it note on your mirror. For some reason we think writing things down makes them permanent. Cancel that.
Writing things down makes you aware.
Maintaining a routine is most important because it is hard to make decisions that are in your best interest when you're not feeling up to par. It is essential to create a clear plan to get back to you. What are you specifically going to do when this wave hits?
2. Remove the layers of shame and guilt. You know what you should be doing, but you're not. Negative feelings from unaccomplished goals cause feelings of shame and guilt for not doing what you know you should (see the cycle?). Lower your expectations and lean in toward intentional action. Additionally, communicate your needs to your support network to remove some of the guilt. Decrease the perceived audience for shame and guilt by letting your friends and family know you need a minute.
3. Bite-sized movements. Start taking care of yourself in small doses. Remember to take your medicine. Stay hydrated. Limit your use of social media. Take a walk. Sleep in a different room. Do something for someone else. Take breaks. Avoid toxic situations.
Participate in activities to re-up your neurotransmitters. Be gentle with yourself as you work toward getting back to you and know that good and complete is enough.
Takeaway: We all have these moments. I always say, it's okay to throw a pity party, just don't stay too long. Although you may not need this post this week, feel free to bookmark it for later needs. You can like this post below via heart-moji and/or leave a comment below. Thanks for clicking in + feel free to share this post with a friend. Be sure to follow-up in a week!
Best, Dr. Dyce